The word BUT is quite adaptable as a
part of speech; it can be a conjunction, an adverb, a preposition, a noun... I
am today considering the implications of the use of the word when it is used as
a conjunction.
A coordinating conjunction, of
course, serves to join together two distinct and contrasting clauses into one
sentence. For example: I wanted to continue reading my book last night, BUT I
had an early start this morning.
The challenge with this is that the
secondary clause often overpowers the first. It is dismissive, seeming to have
a higher priority. In the case of my arriving awake and prepared for leading
worship on Sunday mornings, this can be a good thing. The book will still be
there when I return from worship all energised and jubilant from the
experience.
If, however, the BUT is coming from
a second person in response to someone's first clause, it can take on a
negative tone. If I were to say I want to read my book, and my friend replied
with "BUT you need to go to bed early," it might add some tension.
While the facts may true, I would feel that the input from my friend ignored my
preferences, and rejected my feelings and intentions.
When we do this within the church, even
with the best of intentions, it can inadvertently serve to overpower or dismiss
the voices and perspectives of some of our members. Rather than encouraging
inclusive discourse, it can shut down the exchange of ideas. And part of the
joy of being the body of Christ is the collection of as many perspectives as
possible.
So one little word, those three
little letters, can carry a lot of weight; and not necessarily in a good way. "But
that failed last time" says the idea is not worth trying anew. "But we've
always done it this way" may communicate a whole host of emotions that
have nothing to do with the proposed idea. "But my way is better" (in
all its varied forms) denotes a bit of arrogance, suggesting others should not
even bother.
So imagine if we addressed this in a
different way: instead immediately jumping to the BUT, we acknowledge the presented
perspective, inquire for deeper understanding of the statement, and (if
appropriate) offer additional input.
I invite us, as we continue in Lent,
to give up the big BUT that comes so easily to all of us, and embrace new
possibilities. Let us be brave enough to turn around the big BUT as a means to
engage in meaningful conversation: I needed to get up early but I wanted to
read my book could lead to a conversation about book clubs, or time management,
or shifting worship times.
The possibilities are endless, when
we get our big BUTs out of the way.
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