Oversharing

Emblem of the 2026 Winter Olympics; Public Domain

I have not been watching the Olympics very much this week; but I have been watching some ‘highlight reels’ – and wow, there have been some fascinating things happening!
The ‘chirping’ at the curling events was unusual (especially with multiple claims of double touching by Canadians?!); the accomplishments of all of the athletes is inspiring a new generation of athletes (hello Gilles and Poirier!); the supporters have been amazing (who will forget Maia Schwinghammer’s father going viral); and really, no one quite knew how to react to the suggestion of the ski jumpers’ injected …enhancements. (Other than “ICK!”)

One of the standout moments, however, came from the unlikely interview with a Norwegian bronze-medal winner, who used his interview to lament his recent infidelity to his ex-girlfriend. Reports indicate she was less than pleased with his public revelation, and he went on to further apologise for his indiscretion about their personal issues. (Fortunately, the media have respected her wish for anonymity)

Oversharing is a reality in our world; and usually something that is a reaction (not a response), that’s clearly not been though through. It can violate boundaries, create awkwardness and discomfort, and can lead to damaged relationships and reputations in future.

The consequences of oversharing don’t have to be extreme to be perceived as negative. Even the best of intentions can be quashed by someone’s revelations that are untimely or inappropriate. Context matters!

As people of faith, we are invited to be circumspect in what, and how, we share. We are certainly called to share our faith, but to practice discretion and wisdom in how we do this. We are stewards of our personal lives; and when the time is right, we can focus on appropriate sharing within our community. If we ignore boundaries, however, we may inadvertently push people away, thus defeating our intention and our calling.

When we rely on our spiritual maturity and attentiveness, we understand the benefits of sharing with purpose (consider the advice of Ephesians 4.29: Let no evil talk come out of your mouths but only what is good for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear; or Proverbs 12.18: Rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.)

May God keep our sharing to be for the building up of community; may the Spirit hold our tongues before we overshare!

Not-So-Super Bowl

Like most major sporting and entertainment events, there is always more happening than just the game on the field/ice/stadium/whatever. There are half-time shows, parties, tailgating, the list goes on.

Unfortunately, large events like this are also notorious for illicit actions as well. Human trafficking rates are known to rise substantially at large events; and while increased awareness initiatives and more careful policing does help to curb some of this evil, it still happens.

Anywhere and anytime that thousands of people are in one location, some/many of whom may be impaired, others who may personally profit from turning a blind eye – it’s a forum for the commercialisation of humanity.

A horrifying fact of human trafficking is that it is a by-demand system – meaning that before a human is trafficked, someone has already paid for that human to be trafficked. Unlike other exchanges, traffickers do not have ability or inclination to maintain surplus supply.

While the majority of people who are trafficked are enslaved in sex trafficking, there are also a large number who are targeted for labour trafficking. Globally, there are an estimated 28 million people trapped in human trafficking any day.

In Canada, February 22 is Human Trafficking Awareness Day. Here in Saskatoon, there will be a flag-raising, solemn walk, and panel discussion about the realities of human trafficking in our midst (February 20, beginning at City Hall). We may not be the Super Bowl, but this darkness creeps across every community.

The good news is that we are making a difference: by shining the light into the darkness, by refusing to look away when it becomes painful or awkward; by doing what we can to re-affirm the dignity and rights of every human being.

This is modern-day slavery; and as Christians we are called to stand against this commodification and exploitation of our kin. We can do this through education and advocacy; learning about what human trafficking looks like in our own contexts, and committing to respect the dignity of all – praying for those who are trapped, survivors, and for those who work with them. We pray, too, for those who engage in illicit acts, and for the traffickers – that God may turn their hearts.

May God give us the strength and courage to be informed advocates for justice.

Isa. 61.1-2 The spirit of the Lord God is upon me because the Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn.

Reflections from the Dog Park

At a trip to the dog park this week, Comet discovered a stick that was frozen in the ground. Try as she might, she was unable to dig it up and chew it apart.

After consulting with some of her doggy friends, she found another stick – this one, however, was already in the mouth of another dog – who was not inclined to share.

A few zoomies later, she found a stick just lying on the ground. A BIG stick. A log, really; so large that she could not pick it up. She was able to drag it a little, and tried to keep it away from the others, but it was simple too much for her.

Eventually she gave up, and the dogs all returned to chasing and frolicking sans sticks.

Despite the adorable nature of a dog’s life, her stick adventures can be revealing.

Sometimes, what we want may be just below the surface: yet still inaccessible to us – and we simply have to move on. For if we get stuck with something unavailable, we’ll miss out on other opportunities right in front of us.

Sometimes, what we want is already being used by someone else. It can be frustrating, but we’re not always meant to have whatever we want. And, from a justice perspective, our practice of self-control and self-minimalising means others can have their enjoyment as well. We all deserve to be happy, and stealing someone else’s stick can cause substantial issues and broken relationships.

Sometimes, what we think we want is just too much; and biting off more than we can chew can leave us unsatisfied, exhausted, and annoyed. Whether it’s filling our calendars too fill, or focusing on something that really is beyond our scope, we can’t do everything by ourselves. Unless we build our community and set ourselves realistic expectations, we are bound to be disappointed.

At times, there will be the right stick for the right time. And we will find a use for that stick, and ways to engage with others to ideally build up our community. It can take discernment to figure out what to do with something we find or are presented with, and it may not happen in our expectation. But I believe there’s always the right stick – and I pray we’re all wise enough to find it when it will lead to joy.

Updated

Sermon preparation processes look different for each preacher, and often fluctuate from week to week. Sometimes, the final form of my sermons are scripted and presented from a written document.

When this happens, I often use my iPad to bring that up. I can adjust the size, the colour, etc., to show where I wish to make my offering of a sermon.

Part of my preparations, when I am using said device, is to ensure the tablet is fully charged, and in my bag the night before, often with the sermon text already called up on the screen. On Sunday mornings, I usually test the device prior to the early service, and also have my phone in the prayer desk in the highly unlikely event that the iPad simply does not function.

Last Sunday, I was quite surprised when, after proclaiming the Gospel and opening the iPad, I was greeted with the words “Updating”…

For what it’s worth, that word was not part of the sermon!

The system needed several updates, and after it had done them, it wanted to walk me through all the changes – before I could use the device.

In the moment, frustrated, I just chose to collect my phone and use that for our worship time. (Fortunately, in the time between services, I was able to get my iPad to the point that it showed the sermon.)

For me, this was a reminder that sometimes, we all need to update.
Our minds, our bodies, our spirits: we benefit when we tend to ourselves, checking in on what might be signs that it’s time for an update.
And so often, we have reminders for ourselves...
Should I read some non-fiction? My mind says yes when I realise I’ve spent more time in novels (or scrolling) lately.
Should I call a friend? Absolutely – what a great way to boost my mood!
Should I drink more water? My body says yes; hand lotion only goes so far.
Should I go for a walk (even in -30)? My dog says yes; enthusiastically!

We do our best to be in tune with the hints we receive for our minds and bodies; and then we do our best to respond to those.
But when was the last time we were intentional about a spiritual updating? Do we read scripture daily? Study it, and pray?
In addition to our personal petitions, do we pray intercessions for the world, recognising our connections beyond ourselves?
Do we discern, in prayer and in community, how God is calling into action, to be the loved and loving people we were made to be?

There’s always room for improvement, of course; perhaps my iPad last week was reminding me of the opportunity to do my own updates before they became so urgent that nothing else could be done before they’d been tended to…

Perhaps my prayer this week is for the wisdom to do my own updates, and to prioritise them on a regular basis.

Nice and/or Kind

I recently had a conversation with someone who suggested that if everyone would just “be nice” then the world could be a better place.
On the surface, I could understand, I suggested to my friend that perhaps we should focus on being kind.

She and I then spent some time defining the distinction between the two (which, admittedly, can easily overlap!)

Nice is defined as pleasant and agreeable.
Kind is an adjective meaning a demonstration of friendly or considerate nature.

I proposed that being nice happens when people choose not only to avoid ‘rocking the boat’ but who at times will go to countermeasures when other factors are causing such rocking. And that ultimately, that’s not always the healthiest way forward.
Kindness, on the other hand, is meant for the betterment of a situation, whether it’s what’s wanted to be heard or not.

An example: if a friend asks my advice on an outfit, and it’s not flattering or appropriate, it would be nice to just say “that’s nice” or something agreeable. But, allowing a friend to wear an something objectionable or ill-suited to the event would not actually be kind.
A kind response would need to be just that – kind: perhaps complimenting the colour but suggesting a different style might be better suited to the event, and in fact allow the friend to better shine at the event.

I think a true friend would prefer the best for their friend, and so would prefer kindness: it increases genuine concern and care for one another.

In today’s political climate, I think our faith encourages us to find ways to be kind. Even when we have differences, we can look for ways to build one another up, support one another, empower and encourage each other in ways that are for the benefit of all. If we’re just nice, especially in the face of adversity, we may experience diminished credibility in all we do.

It can be a challenge to find ways to be kind, and certainly ‘being nice’ can feel easier at the time, but God calls us to be authentic in how we move forward. May our faith guide our pathways, where kindness flourishes.

On the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women

This blog was written for 2019's 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence blog for Ecumenical Women at the United Nations.

Thirty years ago today, a man entered Montreal's Polytechnical Institute, and targeted women who were studying engineering and other STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) fields. 14 women died, another 14 people (9 women) physically injured before the gunman took his own life.

The purpose of his intentional and calculated attack: he was "fighting feminism."

The impact of this massacre, one of the worst in Canadian history, was deep across the country. A broader conversation of social issues and gender justice emerged, and December 6th now commemorates the National Day of Remembrance and Acton on Violence Against Women. While statistics do show some improvement, there remains much to be done.

On this the 30th anniversary of a blatant anti-feminist act, I recall the indirect impact this had on my own life. Entering high school the following year, I recall conversations with friends about how women weren't safe in STEM-related classes. Later, when touring university campuses, only in the city of Montreal did I inquire about the current rates of violence against women. Gender justice has been a theme throughout my studies and ministry, and December 6th is never forgotten.

I suspect the atrocity of 1989 remains a factor (conscious or not) that continues to influence other women: only 20% of women in higher education pursue degrees in STEM fields (compared to over 40% of men), and women represent only 22% of the STEM workforce.

Now, years later, I realise that this horrific event continues to influence my life - but it is no longer from a place of fear. Within Canadian society I benefit from a decreased rate of violence against women, an increased awareness of the underlying issues of anti-feminism, improvements in police and policy response to issues of violence.

Specifically, I am blessed to recognise my role in empowering women of today: within the congregation I serve are women and men who work and minister within the STEM fields. There are youth engaging in these fields in their studies. There are children whose curious minds are obviously oriented towards STEM, and they will not be dissuaded from it.

What a gift it is for our community to have the privilege and responsibility to uphold and support these people: given the gifts of discerning hearts and minds, they strive to make the world a better place. They are celebrated for who they are, who God has made them to be, and who they will continue to become as they journey in their fields. Their education will be in the classroom and in the field, and it will also be in the church: they are beloved children of God who are encouraged to live without fear.

So as we recall horror of 30 years ago, I pray that the survivors have found peace. I recognise that the reality of today shows movement towards gender equality. And it is the hope of tomorrow that is therefore up to us: may God give us all the strength to support and encourage everyone to live into their vocation, whatever that may be. 

Causation or correlation

Sometimes, we recognise the sequential effect of things: cold weather means we get out our mittens.
Sometimes, we recognise the complete disconnect of things that just happen to occur at a similar time: there’s ice in my freezer; there’s ice on my deck.
And sometimes, things that seem to be disconnected do actually have a correlation: snow fell; my puzzle table came out. (Unless you knew that my jigsaw habit is usually a winter pastime, those two things would seem incongruous – yet the snow has fallen, and the puzzling has begun!)

When we consider our spiritual actions and realities, it’s helpful to consider the reasoning behind them, to ponder on any connections – or just coincidences.

For many who attend services, the practice becomes habitual – while also being intentional.
Yes, we get up early on Sundays, we know the ups and downs (ah, the Anglican aerobics!), the acronyms make sense to us (mostly) - we enjoy the experience: the worship, the community, the connection. It fills us, inspires us, encourages us.

For some, the daily meditation and prayer times serve as the continuity of faith, of the communication with the divine in a more personal setting. It may include specific setting, maybe a candle or icon for visual or scent stimulus. It may have its own ritual or physical component (my “Friday latte” pottery bowl is a morning prayer regular; for others prayer beads or the feel of a well-known Bible initiates that conversation with God).

For some, however, the concept of worship does not carry with it such positive or edifying connections; it becomes a transactional event. For some, the concept of faith is as a deterrent from “bad behaviour” or a fear against eternal rejection come judgement day. If the only reason to show up at a church is attempting to increase the chances of being heaven-bound, this is not faith; if the contribution to the community’s offerings is an attempt to pay for sin, the effort is not a faithful one. Such a mentality, I fear, is unhelpful and unhealthy to living an authentic faith here and now.

So as I puzzle, I invite us all to puzzle over why we do what we do: why do we pray? Why do we attend worship in community? How might we be inspired to serve, and surprised by joy? How is God acting in our lives in ways that make sense, that build up the heavenly kin-dom, that encourage us to acts that reflect the deep desires of our hearts?

So much to ponder…