Missing Pieces

            In the midst of a recent jigsaw puzzle adventure, I noticed I was missing pieces - a lot of pieces. This led to two problems. First, trying to get the existing pieces to line up was really difficult - there were gaps throughout, which made it really awkward to figure out what went where. And secondly, even when I could work around those gaps, I knew I'd not see the whole picture. Sure, I could guess and presume what they were (and use the box picture as a guideline) - but the gaps were still there; and they always would be.

            How we relate to one another can be similar to a puzzle.

            If we have all the relevant pieces of information, we can assemble them into a cohesive and ordered story: a picture, as it were, of whatever is being communicated. If we do not have them all, our incomplete information may not quite fit properly, thereby making gaps and not conveying the whole or accurate message.

            And that's when the trouble can start... because unlike with a simple jigsaw puzzle, in our relationships we attach emotions to the missing pieces.

            A friend of mine, upon retiring from her part-time job, was accosted by a woman who had made such emotional judgements without knowing any of my friends' rationale. She publicly expressed her disappointment and displeasure in my friend, based on her assessment of the situation.

            My friend was under no obligation to share this information; but she wasn't even asked before she had to endure some cruel commentary. As my friend said: she could have been sick, or moving, or divorcing her husband - any number of possibilities that would have been made worse by this person's public outburst.

            Missing pieces are, in life (if not in puzzles), normal. We are not entitled to every piece of information about everyone and everything else: we are privileged when someone else decides to share it with us.

            How we react to the pieces that we do have is one thing; how we react to the missing pieces is another. We can choose to humbly acknowledge that we don't have all the pieces, or we can choose to assign our own interpretation to the pieces - an interpretation that will impact how we view the whole picture. If we come with pure and Christian minds, we see the positive; if we come with jaded and unbelieving minds, we see the negative.

            I pray that this week, when faced with life's missing pieces, I will give people the benefit of the doubt, with humility, not letting my preconceptions become 'fact'. I pray I will live into the reality of Titus 1.15: Everything is clean to those who are clean, but nothing is clean to those who are corrupt and without faith. Instead, their mind and conscience are corrupted. (CEB)

            How will you engage with the unknowns, the missing pieces, in your relationships this week?