We Are Known by the Company We Keep

"People" CC BY-SA-NC 2.0 by Marcio Eduardo Rodrigues.
Source: Flickr

            More than once, I have been asked to be a character reference for someone, for employment or volunteer positions. More than once, I had asked others to be character references for me. It's fairly common; we tend to spend our time with people who share hobbies and interests, values and viewpoints. This applies to both positive or negative characteristics; those who spend their time with community volunteers are more likely to be volunteers themselves, those who spend their time with liars and thieves are... less likely to be named citizen of the year.

            We are known by the company that we keep.

            This is not to suggest that we *only* associate with like-minded individuals: in my professional life I've spent time with a host of wonderful people, some of whom are addicted, imprisoned, abusive, etc. God has blessed me with the opportunity to exercise my ministry with some of society's most vulnerable and/or rejected people. I have grown as a result of these opportunities.

            In my personal time, I choose to spend time with people that I admire, with qualities that I aspire to, with practices that impress.  I spend time with people who challenge me to be a better person, who encourage me to be the best version of myself possible. These are people who understand that I may need to cancel plans last-minute to go visit a parishioner; who not only accept but appreciate that I am dedicated to prayer; people who respect and support my passion for justice work.

            Studies have shown that our characters adapt and reflect the five people we spend most of our time with. So it's not just that we are known by the company that we keep: we *become* the company we keep. Our close association with a pattern of behaviours and characteristics will normalize them for us: so spending time with critical people will make us more critical, or spending time with generous people will make us more generous.

            Thus it is worthwhile to consider who we are, and who we want to be. And if those two realities do not align, then perhaps some changes need to be made. However, we are called to follow Jesus, not go with the flow of whomever we find to be popularly attractive.  We are called to shine the light of Christ in the world, not to cast shade. We pray for those being baptized to shine that light to the glory of God, and we are invited to remember that others prayed for us to shine that light. May we surround ourselves with that light!