Checking the Details

     I like soup. I'm a big fan of making and eating soup. I enjoy trying new recipes.

     This week, a friend sent me a recipe that looked *fabulous*. Fortunately, the ingredients required all happened to be in my cupboards. Excellent. So off I went: simple recipe, all was going well, it called for one cup of lentils. No problem - in went one cup of lentils.

     I quickly noticed a potential challenge... I had added one cup of dried lentils. Based on the quantities of liquid in the recipe, I deduced that I was going to have a problem. That cup of lentils ought to have been one cup of cooked lentils... I was going to have one very thick stew.

     So, quick adjustments, I added more water and other ingredients: et voilà! A double batch of the soup. (Which, for the record, is fabulous. This recipe is going to be a regular!)

     Fortunately, in the case of soup, adjustments are easy. A minor oops is merely a minor oops.

How often, however, do our relationships encounter challenges when we don't check the details... when we act based on assumptions... when we project our presumptions onto someone else. I think we can all agree that emotions are much more delicate than lentils, and much longer lasting.

     And how easy it can be to prevent the oops moments that can harm relationships. Simply asking for clarification... a "can you tell me more about that" or a "did I understand you correctly" can make a world of difference. Especially in this time of collective anxiety, where many of us are feeling the stress, anything we can do to alleviate tension is a good thing. So whether it's confirming a recipe, or confirming a comment, checking the details is well worth the time. For relationships, unlike soup, aren't usually mended with an extra cup of water and an onion.