Shoo Fly!

There was a fly at my window this week. All week, buzzing insistently at the screen. The weather had been lovely, and the window had been open a lot of the time – and the fly was so focused on getting back outside, that it would not leave the window, even when it was closed or when I tried to shoo it away. (The screen simply would not come out for me.)

The fly died this week, on the windowsill; from dehydration or starvation or heat exhaustion – who knows. But dead it is; I noted one morning the silence at the window and hoped it had moved to a different part of the house.
Alas; I was wrong.

We often hear the expression “when one door closes a window opens” (or similar adage); and this is meant to bring us comfort and hope. Doors close in our lives on a regular basis; our childhood aspirations change as we grow, our experiences mould us in one direction (and not another), our desires shift as we grow and find our ways in the world.

Sometimes these closed doors feel like an offense or an insult; at other times we are grateful as they protect us from a path that is not ours.
Yet we trust that some other window will open; another door is waiting for us, our journey is not over just because one door has closed.

I think the sadness comes when we can perceive an opening, but are unable to breach through it – like the fly and the window screen. So focused was this fly on getting outside, it did not recognise that this window was not the opening it needed. How often have we continued in one path, with blind determination, even when we know deep down it is not the path for us? How often have we exhausted ourselves going in a direction that does not lead to a life-giving existence?

This is of course the experience of discernment, trying and failing; trying and succeeding; trying and trying. And it is a process that continues, as we have the pleasure of experiencing more and more of life’s adventures.

My prayer is that as we discern what windows God has opened for us, that we honour them for what they are; sometimes a pathway, sometimes a vantage point, sometimes a pause as we continue on our way. May we not get stuck in one space, such that it prevents us from the full life that God is calling us towards.