Don't Talk About My Friend Like That!

            A while back, on a low-self-esteem kind of day, I was moaning to friends about everything I didn't like about myself. One friend was quick to cut me off: "Don't talk about my friend like that!" she scolded.

            I was shocked - I would never say something horrible about her friends! Then I (slowly) clued in that *I* was her friend, and she didn't want to her such negativity about me - even (especially!) from myself.

            I also realised that my self-negativity had extended beyond us, to everyone around us. Though it was just one bad day, I had exuded a clear message that I was clearly not likeable, or loveable, or valuable, that no one would want to get to know me. I was my own worst enemy. Yikes!

            Negativity like that can spread - very quickly. Our words and actions can become a barrier, an invisible "Keep Away!" sign to the world. Obviously we don't want to be doing that!

            So what happens when we talk about our church community in a similar manner? The message we give out to the world can influence others, and help them form opinions - about ourselves, and about our church.

            A complaint about the sermon over a post-church meal suggests a church with terrible preaching. An online comment about empty pews advertises a dying congregation. A snide remark while grocery shopping about church leadership broadcasts dissention in the community.

            These things may not even be true, and we might be shocked to realize the implications of what our own words have meant to those that hear them. But we never know who is listening: and we would not want to turn someone away from the church because of our inadvertent negativity.

            Now, I know churchland is not a perfect place, and when 2 or 3 are gathered there are 4 or 5 opinions (at least!). If we see something we disagree with in community, let's deal with it in the community, and be part of the solution. Let's not just talk negatively about it. The church is my friend: don't talk about my friend like that!

            We are called to share the love of God through Jesus Christ. We are blessed to have the promise of divine redemption and salvation. We are gifted to have communities and structures where we worship freely. Let's make sure THAT is our message about church when we go out in the world.