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| Love. CC BY-NC 2.0 by Priscila Tonon Ramos. Source: Flickr |
I
have the great privilege right now to be working with a number of couples as
they prepare for fall weddings. I like that they are inviting God and the
Christian community to be a part of their 'big day' - but I really like that they are inviting God
and the Christian community to be a part of their lives together.
Part
of the marriage preparation course I use focuses on positive emotions connected
with actions. It invites reflection on how our partners' actions elicit a
response from us, and how our actions elicit an emotional response from our
partner. "When my partner does _____, I feel loved." and the
reciprocal "When I _____, I think my partner feels loved."
It
takes our communication beyond words. Simply saying "I love you" is
wonderful; but it challenges the couple to identify what can be done -
physically done - to demonstrate that love.
And it's not just love - there's also respect and value. And those
answers should ideally be different.
It
doesn't have to be expensive: we all feel loved with diamonds, but we also feel
valued with a balanced budget! And it doesn't have to be a big thing: preparing
a morning cup of coffee without being asked, making dinner when the partner has
had a long day, turning off all screens for a distraction-free conversation.
But they do need to be done; and these actions speak much louder than words.
So
how, then, do we show our love for God? How do we demonstrate our respect for
God? How do we let the world see how much we value God?
I
think it all depends on how we show these things to one another. God calls us
to love our neighbour; let's show them the love - because it's what God would
do. Let's show the world that they are respected. That they are valued. Because
it's what God would do, and it's what God invites us to do.
It
doesn't have to be big or expensive, but it does need to happen. Because we
can't usually tell everyone we encounter "I value you as a child of God,
because I am a Christian!" - at least not with words. But by being
intentional with our actions, we can communicate our faith clearly and
concisely.
We
are called to love: in thought, word, and action. And by this, everyone will
know that we are disciples of Jesus Christ.[1]
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