The Rules of the Game

Screenshot from Winnipeg Jets Facebook page

It’s playoff season for NHL hockey fans – when we spend crazy amounts of time and energy watching our teams battle it out in ‘best of seven’ rounds to see who will take home the cup. It’s a season of loud cheering, heightened disappointments, and lots of gear. (Winnipeg Jets fans are treated to the possibility of new ‘Whiteout' gear every time we make the playoffs!)

In the playoffs, however, there are some changes – the rules of the game shift slightly – but importantly – from the rules during regular season. Overtime is played differently: rather than the (regular season) five-minute period of 3-on-3 prior to a shootout, in the playoffs teams that are tied after 60 minutes will continue in 20-minute periods of sudden-death play.

The rules change; yet everyone knows the rules have changed – and so the players, the coaches, the fans – everyone knows what to expect. It’s a change – but it’s a fair change.

In life, sometimes our interactions and relationships function based on established norms – our social contract with each other. Sometimes these norms are formalised, sometimes they’re understood. Our interactions have a better chance to be positive and constructive when we are sure that we’re all clear on these norms, and communicate if we encounter different understandings or applications.

Yet, these norms can also change; for example, as children mature they take on more responsibility and accountability, or should the nature of relationships shift from friendship to romance, or an external change that impacts family members in different ways, etc.

While changes in our interactions are inevitable, it is incredibly important to ensure that everyone is aware of the change of norms – to avoid creating an imbalance in the relationship that could lead to friction. In life, we want for things to be as smooth and fair as possible; and while this requires individual and corporate accountability and responsibility, it also depends on everyone ‘playing fair’.

So, like the playoffs, we can keep our connections healthy and balanced with a little bit of understanding. It’s good to know what the parameters of our connections are, and to know – and fully understand – when they change. Whether it’s the playoffs, or our workplaces, or our friend groups, we should always feel confident in knowing that we’re all following the same rules.